


Legend of the Almighty Werebunny

by SkylaDoragono



Category: Bleach, Tales of the Abyss
Genre: Crossover, Gen, Genderswap, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-10-06
Updated: 2010-10-06
Packaged: 2017-10-14 21:05:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 789
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/153452
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SkylaDoragono/pseuds/SkylaDoragono
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ame stumbles on Luke out stalking the most deadly of all predators: the dreaded... bunny.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Legend of the Almighty Werebunny

**Author's Note:**

> Ame-chan is Naoko's little muse. I'm just borrowing her for the lulz that is this utter ridiculousness.

It was not often in her life that Ametatsu found herself utterly confused or exasperated. When she was, it usually involved a certain redheaded arrancar that insisted on attaching himself to her side despite her numerous protests. This time was no different, but for once Luke was not clinging to her like some lovesick puppy; instead he was sprawled out in the grass, rear end pointing up in the air, his head half poking through some bushes. For a moment, she just wanted to shake her head and keep walking, but something prevented her from doing that; the shear absurdity of the situation perhaps? Not that a (very) small part of her did not appreciate the view, but...

"Luke, what are you doing?"

The arrancar did not bother to look back as he shushed her softly. "Quiet, Ame-chan. I'm observing one of the most deadly predators on Auldrant."

Ametatsu's eyebrows shot up to her hairline, curious in spite of herself. Carefully, she slid down to her knees, carefully crawling forward until she was even with Luke, looking out past the bushes to see...

...a rabbit.

Oh he _had_ to be kidding.

"Is this a joke?" she deadpanned.

Again, Luke did not look to her as he shook his head. "No joke; the bunny rabbit is a deadly monster on Auldrant. Many unsuspecting traveler has been caught off guard by one. They're very dangerous."

Ametatsu thumped her head against the ground in exasperation. He was serious. _Why_ was he serious?

"Luke, rabbits on earth are _herbivores,_ not carnivores," she hissed at him.

"That's just what they want you to think," he replied softly. "And then, when you're least expecting it, they attack!"

This was just too much for Ametatsu's poor mind to handle. Frustrated, she got up to her feet, carefully and quietly approaching the bunny as Luke let out an alarmed noise. The rabbit turned to her, twitching its nose as she knelt down, reaching out to gently run a finger along its tiny head. Surprisingly, it stayed very calm and still as she pet it, and she turned slightly toward Luke.

"See, it's perfectly—"

Suddenly, the rabbit struck, biting her hand hard before hopping off toward a nearby bush. Ametatsu yelped, jerking up to her feet as her hand started to bleed, and a crash came from where Luke was as he came crashing toward her, panicked. He grabbed her hand before she could say it was nothing, looking it over with a critical eye as his face paled with worry.

"Oh no, it's bitten you!" he bemoaned. "You're going to turn into a werebunny!"

...and the ridiculousness just continued. Ametatsu fixed him with an irate glare, one that clearly said she was going to regret asking this:

"Another legend from Auldrant?"

Luke shook his head, a few moments away from panicking. "The werebunny is no legend, Ame-chan! Everyone knows that those bitten by bunnies turn into ferocious creatures; normal by day, violent bunny by—"

The arrancar cut himself off, eyes widening comically as Ametatsu's nose twitched.

"Oh no! It's starting!" he wailed. "Don't worry, Ame-chan! I'll get you stabilized at my lab, and then—"

Normally Ametatsu would have felt sorry about sneezing in someone's face, but Luke was clearly deserving of such an action. He paused a moment, processing why his face was so wet, before sheepishly rubbing the back of his neck.

"...O-or you can do that, that's even better."

She let out a frustrated noise, wrenching her hand away from his before storming away to get proper care from an individual that did not answer to a raving lunatic. Luke called out after her, clearly concerned about her wellbeing, before letting out a sigh and glancing back at the bunny, still sitting calmly over by the bush. He knelt down, looking the creature over, before plopping his face in a hand.

"I guess you're really not like your cousins on Auldrant, hunh?" he asked, not expecting an answer...

"Sir, I have so many brothers, sisters, and cousins, how can I be expected to keep track?" the rabbit replied.

Luke froze solid...

Luke stared...

Luke's eyes widened...

...and then there was a burst of static as the arrancar used sonído to not only get away from the talking rabbit, but to get to Ametatsu as quickly as possible.

 _"Ame-chan, wait up!"_ he wailed loudly...

...and missing it as a not-so sane cackle that sounded mysteriously like a certain captain of the Twelfth Division came from a speaker built inside the bunny rabbit's mouth. Such a profitable day: a blood sample from the Quincy, and he made that mediocre scientist's creation look like an idiot. Clearly he needed to "borrow" that fool's robotic surveillance devices more often.


End file.
